wherever I go

If this is a tumor growing in my skull, I'm going to be so pissed. Pressure, nausea, of various intensity. Feels like absolute hell.

...otherwise, shit's cool. Boyfriend stuff is good (I woke up this morning with a weird mark on my back, I asked him what it looks like, he said his was a bite mark. "You bit me on my back?" "*ptsh* I was biting you everywhere.") Walked to a local bar last night, hung out with a bunch of peoples...that was neat. L & I made fun of the loud / drunk / fat chicks...people watched...blah.

When: December 18th @7pm
Where: Weber's (19312 Vanowen Street, Reseda)
What: Super-awesome new band! The project is called Edward Teach, and everyone is getting excited about the vast amounts of awe they will unleash into your ears. It's a band you can be proud to listen to, because they don't suck at all (no, not even a little bit - pinky swear!)

It's all ages , NO COVER - so everyone should stop by at some point or another and show some love & / or support. It would mean a lot (no, really.) Tell everyone you know about it, and bring everyone you can - it's going to be a fun night and a great show!

As everyone should know by now, I had the most awesome summer ever hanging out in the woods, goofing off, making crafty stuff and getting to know some of the coolest kids ever. One of the people at camp made a video of various activities, and I'm all over it. So if you want a taste of what camp was like, have a look:



Laura moments:
@0:40, me & R trying to entertain the campers on a Sunday morning with ridiculous skits & trivia.
@0:55 jumping in the swimming pool, I'm the one on the far right with the chunky legs and tattoo :)
@1:29, you can see me in the far back right corner. We sang songs after every lunch & dinner (ask me to sing the HVC song anytime, it's good stuff. Also, ask me about the llama song.)

Honorable mention moments:
@0:31, a girl is painting a sign for her tent that is supposed to be a cell phone...they were the "OMG8" (8th girls tent.) Totally my idea. So rad.

Good times :)

This weekend in San Fransisco has been canceled, on my part, because I would rather go to Rocky and see R's last performance...because that is much more important to me (and somehow I haven't been to a show since I've been back, WTF?)

Smoking pot + drinking + watching Intervention = dick move? I dunno, I find it kinda amusing...

Consumer announcement: Trojan ecstasy is nothing special aside from having ridges and being a bigger condom. So now you know :)

I haven't shared any camp stories yet, wtf.

So one of the drivers was pretty rad, and I was joking around about covering stuff in rhinestones and glitter...which evolved into me being able to cover his car in rhinestones & glitter (100% cool by him.) My favorite part was putting a little rhinestone dick shooting out glitter by his exhaust pipe. It's alright, 'cause none of the kids saw it ^_^

My numero uno camp buddy -R- was rad, and from day 1 we were bonding lots. We signed up to do a skit / song for every camp fire & skit / talent night...noteworthy appearances include singing Queen's Bohemian Rhapshody, and my acting out The Raven while R recalled the entire thing by heart.

I taught a girl how to braid, and she was very happy about this...she started braiding everything, and then braiding together the braids...it was pretty cool. She said her mom tried to teach her but she just never understood until I showed her...bawww :)

We had camp-wide LARP. Weapons & armor out of cardboard and decorated with all sorts of stuff...most of it was actually pretty badass. It was fairly epic.

I pranked one of the awesome staff after he took a different prank too seriously. I put horse shit around his bed, and thumbtacked a pair of his boxers in the second story of one of the lodges. I found this incrediably funny, and he didn't get all pissed off 'cause we are on cool terms.

One day a bunch of girls ran up to me asking if I would be their biffle. It was adorable. One of the girls 3rd session told me I was the older sister she always wished she had...and she was rad, so it totally melted my heart and all.


During my roadtrip I learned how to change tires, change brake lights, change oil, drive on a spare on the freeway, drive in the rain, and I got into a minor accident - a spin out really. But everything was fine so it's cool. Now I just need to borrow a car to take my test so I can finally get my fucking license...after driving for two thirds of the West coast, San Fransisco, and L.A., I feel very confident in passing my test. Yay.

I have a boyfriend, yay

I'm going to San Fransisco in a couple weeks, it'll be fun - yay

I lost enthusiasm for Halloween this year, but it was still enjoyable. Yay

I'm going to go see an amazing band that is totally in my top 10 in December...they are Danish and haven't toured the U.S. much. Yay

I'm semi-planning a big East coast / Canada trip for February...yay

My laptop is most likely fried 'cause I've had it for 3.5 years...I'm going to reseat the RAM & hard drive, and if that doesn't work then SOMEBODY is getting a new computer. (Advice? Suggestions? Fixing my current lappy, retrieving my files on it, to laptops worth the $$ - I'm open to all suggestions from those more technologically inclined than myself. This includes most of you <3)

The apartment is neat, still getting settled in, still hunting for a bed...I was really hoping to get one off CL for not much $$, but wow it's a pain in the ass. If I still haven't found anything by next month, I'll just spend the money to buy a new one...yay for my nest (for now.) I'm getting laid, all the roomies are getting along...I fight with J about which one of us loves L more, it's pretty cute...we all pick on C and blame him for everything we can possibly think of, and it's funny, and he doesn't mind. We all rule, but I haven't really seen anyone else since I've been back in town. I should fix this sometime soon-ish.

blah blah blah...

Flight tomorrow / seeing my mom / checking out the apartment
Hanging out with sisters & niece / movie / yummy foods / setting up internet / mattress hunting
Two birthdays, one party
Rocky
Dad's birthday


Last night I had this amazing short dream...I could feel myself slip from being awake right into this dream, I felt totally weightless. I got up, faced the wall, and I just thought to myself "fall backwards." It felt like I fell through 4 stories and the room faded around me. It was so fun...I opened my eyes, and for a moment I wasn't sure if I was still in my dream or not.

Going to New York for the weekend with G. Leaving later today, coming back Monday. Should be fun.

Flight back to L.A. on Wednesday, K scored us a ride to the airport (woo!) and I'll finally see the new place. Then - hunting for a mattress, setting up the internet.

I LOVE throwing out shit I don't need, I used to drive everyone nuts whenever I would rearrange my room and throw stuff out - "Laura, we can use this!" "No, we already have a dozen more of those...that one has no purpose. Just get rid of it." I went through a bunch of medical records...if felt nice to black out & rip up most of those that were far beyond relevant for me now. I'm keeping a dozen copies of lab results from the past few years, though. It's nice to have proof that I'm chemically "normal."

Mid-October I'll be going to San Fransisco for a weekend, some grant writing conference with K. I'm making plans to come back out here for visits in December & February...damn it - I'm going to miss these people.

Hung-out with G, dinner, yummy pumpkin beer, exchanging recent life stories...uber-intense scene, very hot...literally. He massaged me with fucking FIRE. It felt amazing, and I would totally do it again...playing with others, getting a zillion hugs from these wonderful people. Drove around a bit, took a nap, ate pumpkin pancakes, listened to the new Muse album something like 5 times through, holding hands, enjoying each others company...the way he talks about music makes me happy. I could totally see us getting hitched when we're in our 30s.

Autumn is near. My favorite time of year, when I'm at my best, feel my best...I love Halloween. I've never had a bad Halloween. The weather is a perfect mix, people are calming down from summer but haven't reached being depressed during winter phase yet...everything is just mellow and comfy. At least that's how I feel about it.

There is a hypnosis munch / play party tonight, I'm going to a club in New York on the 27th with G...couple more munches, parties, bonding time. It made me very happy to see everyone last night...they sincerely missed me / were excited to see me. I really care about so many people, enjoy just seeing them...but I keep most people at an arms distance. I can understand people not knowing how much I find them interesting and wonderful, because I don't allow most people to get close enough where they can really see how much I notice them. I  feel like this circle of friends here are quick to understand how I see them and care about them, and they reciprocate it like crazy  - I love it. I'm very happy right now.

I have a pseudo date with my play partner, G, in like...10 minutes. I can't wait to be hugged / hug him, he's one of my favorite Bostonians. I haven't seen any of my people here since I've been back, I've been so ridiculously exhausted. It'll be nice to see these amazing / fun / kinky folk again :)

Dinner
Party
Fire play / rope

Tonight will be good.

Mutual crush with future roommate.

Those around approve.

We're both all giggles & bashful.


Con: this feels weird.
Pro: abundant cuddling guaranteed.


Hmmm...

I thought some of you would find this neat, so I'm sharing:

www.nifnaks.com/chatterings-blog/rugged-femininity-my-new-work-corset-21.html

Yay, Burners!

My flight back to Boston was a safe one.

I'm moving back to L.A. with the other half & company. We applied to an apartment that is pretty much exactly what we all wanted...we all really hope we get it. Cross your fingers for us.

Here, the apartment is mostly packed up. We're out of here at the end of the month. Most of my Boston friends don't know yet...I'm sad I'll be leaving them. However, when it comes to me - it's almost never a "goodbye." People know it's cool to look me up whenever, I get myself around, I enjoy keeping in touch...so yes.

I have a bajillion camp stories, and road trip stories. I've learned much this summer...

Next summer I'm probably moving to San Fransisco, going on tour with a friend's punk band, and generally having really neat-o adventures.

I'm really fucking exhausted. All the time. But it's more than worth it most of the time.

Will go into detail later...

So much love.

My sleep has never been normal. I remember being in my crib awake at night and knowing not to be loud, or my parents would be upset...I don't think I've ever had a regular sleep cycle. The older I get, the more I rely on faking enthusiasm until I get myself into a happy & socially acceptable mania, or accept being exhausted and fall back on being mellow. Last night wore me out, hard. With most things I'm convinced I can handle myself, but I'm so frustrated...especially being at camp - I need to be up and ready, and my body won't let me do what want & need. I really need to try something to help me sleep again...but at the same time I really don't like the idea of having to take chemicals in order to modify myself into a certain way. Anyone who knows me knows I'm past tired of all of that...

I try to sleep, I wake up every hour or two, can't fall back asleep for 15-20 minutes. Vivid dreams, sometimes the sleep paralysis sticks to just one arm, sometimes my legs, sometimes I can't move at all. Moving in and out of dreams that seem just like the world when I'm awake, but then I can't move in one, and I can do anything in the other. Some mornings my perceptions are so off, and I don't know how to explain just how exhausting it all is - never mind the lost sleep. I don't see much of a point in trying to explain this to many people there...I don't think they would understand. Probably shrug it off like I'm crazy or something. I know I'm not normal, and I don't want to be, but I don't enjoy negative stigmas.

I enjoy where I am, but I miss being around people that I can totally be myself around, and that I don't have to explain anything to. I could really use a good hug, or a cuddle right about now.

/vent

I'm on my second day off, hanging out with a couple of my awesome camp friends in Seattle. Walked around Pike's Place Market for a bit, hung out in their backyard in our underwear, soaking in the sun. It's a nice day in Seattle :)

So far camp has been great! Half-way through the first session of campers, they are mostly great kids...some are a pain in the ass. Overall, it's a great time, and I'm super happy :)

The staff are really relaxed, too! We have all been getting along, talking...everyone is either freaky, fucked up, or smoking pot. I fit in well, people have been very nice to me (and they know I'm kinda fucked up and kinky, and they think it's awesome. Umm...yes. Yes, please. Yes this rules.)

I'm heading back in later, then by the end of the week we'll be inbetween sessions...staff party. Awesome fucking staff party, omg yes.

I'm kinda shrinking, getting a tan, and I've been in total hippie mode (head bands, braided hair, hemp necklaces & braceletts...you know, the looking rad thing.)

:)

I leave very early Thursday morning for Seattle, spending an afternoon with a friend in Kent before being picked up to go to the middle of nowhere woods. Staff week starts on Friday, then begins my being crafty followed by being sporty until August 23rd. My ass is going to be so kicked for the first couple weeks, after that I should be fine. Have I mentioned that I’ll actually have a schedule to follow? It’s probably obvious, but yes, that’s weird, for me at least.

After I’m free from there, I’ll be hanging out with a couple friends in Seattle, seeing my brother, then going down to San Francisco for a couple days. Seeing a few friends, exploring the city, then going down to L.A. for the weekend. I should be back in L.A. by Friday night, Saturday I’ll be hanging out with friends, getting dinner with a few people at a delicious Japanese place in Santa Monica, Rocky (of course, I miss Sins!!), sky diving again, then flying back out here.

While I’m in camp I will have access to a computer, but I’ll be out in the woods running around and being cool…why would I want to linger on a computer, you know? I’ll check things every so often. I won’t have my cell phone with me (I’ll be leaving that with my lappy and camera with aforementioned friend in Kent for safekeeping, as I’ll want it for my West coast trip.) If people want to write me while I‘m at camp, totally do it, I’ll definitely write back (ask me for the address) :)

I’m taking care of making as many plans for the last week in August now as I can, because I’ll only have a few days each in Seattle, San Francisco, and L.A., so I want to make sure I make the most of it.

I still have to sort out everything that I’m bringing, pack, read through the rest of the camp handbooks & packets (then read through it all again, ‘cause I do that), call my brother, call my parents, and buy toiletries when I get to Seattle (fuck you TSA for your 3oz rule, and no - I don’t want to check my bag for $20. Grr.) After camp I have a mission to check up with everyone I have plans with to make sure it‘s still on, buy various tickets for various transportation to various places, make a reservation for sky diving…

I know I’m missing several somethings in there, but yeah. …

Oh! New Years suggestions? Anywhere in the world, where should I go?

( blah blah blah )

( target practice  )